I would, except for one thing . . .

Published January 13, 2012 by Lynda Christine Rodriguez

I don’t wanna.

I am sitting at my desk between a rock and a panicky place. This is not an unusual place for me to be, I’m just hyper aware of it today.  I’m actually taking a short break before I go back to writing.  I have a new contract so I’m trying to wow them with my prowess.

I have a sinus thing that is only helped by a medication that makes me a bit twitchier than normal.  I know how can you tell? I have plenty of people around me that tell me this kind of thing whether I want them to or not.   I have been freaking out a lot this week.  I’m starting to move stuff out of Steve’s house and the first big batch of stuff that went to live with a stranger really punched me in the heart.  I know that doesn’t sound very coherent, but if you want I can explain it to you.  I can’t be sure I won’t use obscenities or say anything that doesn’t rhyme with brother trucker, but still.

The other major thing that’s clumping my fluff is an grudge that I can not let go.  (No it’s not the Gonzalo Cervantes thing, although that should probably go, too.)

I am el clumpo in el fluffo because The Absence of All That is Good and Holy is now living back in this area.

I can’t imagine what would make me feel better about this situation.

An apology? Possibly.

The thousands of dollars he owes me. Probably, and if  didn’t it could go a long way towards helping me pretend it did.

None of these things will make up for the unforgivable, that I let myself be taken advantage of for years for someone who is either a sociopath or hates themselves so much they can’t respect anyone who cares about them.

It just frustrates me because I can’t let it go.   I know that’s all on me.

The money would be nice too.

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