I might be wearing this face right now.

Published January 17, 2013 by Lynda Christine Rodriguez

While I was compiling the information for this blog, this new information came to light on MSN’s TV Buzz Blog:

Claire Danes is annoyed.

Entire memes and YouTube videos have been dedicated to her not-so-attractive “crying face,” a trait that came to light when she impressed the masses on “Homeland.”

Danes’ friend, fellow actress Anne Hathaway, even spoofed the expression when she played Danes’ “Homeland” character, Carrie, on “Saturday Night Live.” The running joke during the spoof? “It’s like her whole face is chewing gum.” Hathaway apparently apologized in advance and sent Danes flowers afterward as a conciliatory gesture.


While I have spent a lot of time looking out of my face today, I have also been reading (I know, what an odd thing to say.)

Apparently Beauty is creating as much buzz as our friend Fat.

Now I’m supposed to be feel sorry for Megan Fox because she’s Hot?

That seems to be the bent of the Esquire Cover Story.

(I don’t read Esquire, I don’t even know anyone who does, this information was found on various sources of the Intrawebs.  I will, of course be citing references because I’m cool like that. )

This is a direct quote from Esquire writer Stephen Marche

   “The symmetry of her face, up close, is genuinely shocking. The lip on the left curves exactly the same way as the lip on the right. The eyes match exactly. The brow is in perfect balance, like a problem of logic, like a visual labyrinth. It’s not really even that beautiful. It’s closer to the sublime, a force of nature, the patterns of waves crisscrossing a lake, snow avalanching down the side of a mountain, an elaborately camouflaged butterfly. What she is is flawless. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her.

Megan Fox is a bombshell. To be a bombshell in 2013 is to be an antiquity, an old-world relic, like movie palaces or fountain pens or the muscle cars of the 1970s or the pinball machines in the basement. Bombshells once used to roam the cultural landscape like buffalo, and like buffalo they were edging toward extinction.

Liberation and degradation both played their part. If you want to see naked women, of virtually any kind, do virtually anything to their bodies, it’s a click away. And women no longer need to be beautiful in order to express their talent. Lena Dunham and Adele and Lady Gaga and Amy Adams are all perfectly plain, and they are all at the top of their field.”


After you get over what is obviously the verbal equivalent of drooling on a person

Move on to what else Marche said in his introduction.  I think Choire Sicha of The Awl says it well (my version would include a lot of foul language, most of which would rhyme with the word “brother Trucker)

“OH YES. “And women no longer need to be beautiful in order to express their talent. Lena Dunham and Adele and Lady Gaga and Amy Adams are all perfectly plain, and they are all at the top of their field.”

Actual words, typed consecutively, and somehow published. Despite the obvious questions—how the hell did poor Amy Adams get wrapped up in that claim!? And also “how soon is Adele going to BEAT YOU TO DEATH?”—I also… I… I don’t know where to start with Stephen Marche’s half-profile of Megan Fox for Esquire. I thought the mens’ mags had moved on from hiring ghouls—I mean, smart ones even!—to be ghoulish about women and their value. I thought the age of OMG WOMEN HAVE BREASTS, SOME ARE SO PRETTY, WHAT SHALL WE DO was over.”


I, for one, want to watch Adele, Amy and Lena hold Marche Down while Lady Gaga dances the Watusi on him with her giant shoes.

My sorrow for Megan’s plight of possessing Beauty truly knows no bounds.

My friend Cathy the High Priestess of High School Technical Theatre  reminded some student actors after an audition that even though you KNOW that you weren’t right for a part, you still TELL yourself that it was a huge personal failing on your part.

I think the same thing stands for Beauty.  We KNOW how much it doesn’t really matter and that Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and bla-bla-bla, but what we TELL ourselves and what we HEAR is something completely different. What we BELIEVE is also something.

An artist who I respect once said that I was the strangest person he ever met. I do take that as a compliment.  I mention this to people all the time, especially since I now  encounter his children on a regular basis. Something I he also told me that I do not mention and in fact, completely forgot about until I read the above articles was that my facial features were symmetrical and that I could use the art work for the bust of Nefertiti as the basis for our upcoming Theatrical Makeup project.

An ARTIST equated my face to the symmetry of a woman who has been said to be the most beautiful woman ever to have lived. I did not KNOW that. But after I had someone TELL me that, 25 years later all that I now KNOW is that I am weird.


Why did I forget that?  I don’t look exactly like I did when I was nineteen.  Who does?

I could (and probably will) go on about Beauty as many times as I will about Fat.

But the challenge for me comes via XO jane , the article was It happened to me: I’m skinny and I got liposuction

The Author’s friend remarked  on living in Southern California.

“It’s no fun being a hag,” she says.


This took me to seek out the definition of “Hag”  Among  others was ” woman, usually middle age or old. ”

The Synonyms of hag:

Jezebel, Medusa, bag, battle-ax, beldam, biddy,crone, fishwife, fury, gorgon, harpy, harridan,ogress, shrew, slattern,

sorceress, termagant,virago, vixenwitch

It sounds like an awful lot of fun to be a hag .


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