Gnome, Gnome is deranged

Published August 20, 2013 by Lynda Christine Rodriguez

Gnome, Gnome is deranged

The head gnome (that is, the gnome that lives in my head and not the gnome who is the leader) is working really hard right now. The inside of my head is aching. This ache started in the center of my sinus cavity and made a slow, trudgy progress to the upper left side where it has decided to have a slow, kicky tantrum.   If only there was a head dystopia filled with militia, zombies or some make-shift police that would keep the gnomes in line.  (Now I am picturing a conga line of gnomes, which is, at least, entertaining.)

I know. I sound like I am losing my mind. At least it’s not another ranty-whine about how I am having such a damn hard time finding a job. (I promise that’s not where this is going.)  The test prep place reviewed my resume and said that I should come in and take the test again.  This means that I have to acknowledge that I do have a bit of a processing disorder as a result of that time my head blew up.  It means that my neurons work a little bit slower than what might be required to handle the language of a standardized test that I haven’t taken in 27 years. (I would love to blame it on the gnome, but I somehow think that line of reasoning won’t help me at all.)

So there’s that. If I do that and pass there’s that little ort of cash I can make per week. After crunching numbers and applying actual math without shrieking, I know!) I figured out that working as an administrative temp doing the type/file/ office work thing would pay me as much as subbing. I decided that if I have to be a low paid temp, I would rather be a low paid temp for a job that I know will absolutely end at the same time every day. (An added bonus for the working as sub is that if I am killed on the job in a public school, it is considered a felony offense. If I get killed at an office job, I’m just a statistic.  I don’t want have a cap busted in my ass at ANY job, but if I have to choose, I would rather be a martyr for education than be a casualty of a parking dispute.) So no rant, just some grim positivity.

I blame the gnome.

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