I am such a nerd in my real life (as opposed to the kind of life where I am a non-nerd half-elf level five cleric) that I love independent research. To this end, I am completely incapable of passing up memoirs and the like when they are on the clearance rack. (Hey, I’m a nerd with a tight budget.)
One of these books has waited for me, unreadm for a while. I picked this book, Slut! By Leora Tanenbaum, and took it with me to the doctor’s office because I knew I would probably have a long wait.
When I started reading and noticed that the other people in the waiting room were staring at me, I realized that sometimes I actually invite the weird to happen to me.
I was reading a book with a bright green cover emblazoned with shocking pink letters. I was reading “Slut!:” in the gynecologist’s office.
All of that said, it’s very interesting. The introduction alone garnered three tape-flags for future reference. Only one flag is for something that I’m going to just quote in a non-judgy way.
Draw your own conclusions, and vent your own rage. I’m just going to put it out there.
From an unnamed source in 1730’s
“ He that doth get a wench with child and marries he afterward is as if a man who would shit in his hat and put it upon his head.”
Use it how you will.
Other tape flaggery sums up the truth that slut-shaming is proof that sexism and the double standard are alive and well. The worst part is that too often it’s women who do the shaming.
Here is a direct lift from an article By A Woman.
“It was almost a weekly ritual for my friends and me when we were 18-year-old college freshmen — we’d get dressed up in the slutty dress code dictated by the boys (almost always boys; girls didn’t invite other girls to their parties) throwing the most rollicking soiree, put on our highest shoes, push our boobs up so they sat neatly under our chins like a pectoral butt, and totter over to the party in a group, like herd of slutty newborn deer. What any of us actually did at the party was inconsequential to our status as “sluts.” We could go there and recite Bible verses or drunkenly lecture members of the football team about the inherent sexism of commenting on a girl’s ass as she stood right in front of you in line for beer — or we could go home with some random junior who you saw once in line for stir fry at the dining hall. Either way, we were sluts, because we went to the party dressed in a way that acknowledged our buying into the notion that all of the “fun” women are sluts. I slut, therefore I am. And this was at a Catholic school. Lord knows what was happening at those terrifyingly Bacchanalian secular universities my parents warned me about.”
Now the title makes it sound like she’s not going to whip right around and play the old, “look at the way she/we are dressed.
Now the whole Catholic college thing leads me to this Jezebel thing
It’s definitely worth a look. I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school from Kindergarten straight through High School. (That’s 13 years in a plaid jumper.) The high quality education didn’t instantly turn girls into independent thinking slatterns. This whole article essential says that educated women who have intellectual curiosity may just wander their way into a sexual assault. (Of course she was, did you see how inquiring her mind looks?)
A good way to wrap this up is to go back to La Miley. I’m still processing this for a number of reasons (The main reason is that the damn song is stuck in my head.) A good percentage of the public is slut-shaming La Miley for no other reason than she dancing and singing in the exact same way that twenty year olds are dancing in clubs all over the world.
We are not affording a pretty young woman the same slack for behaving the same way that male performers are. (I admit, I enjoy “ Hoochie Mama” by 2Live Crew. I don’t bash this song for being racist and sexist. I think it’s amusing. It’s a song. No one has to listen to it if they don’t want to.
“So, in 2013 in America, while we celebrate a young man from Seattle for having the courage to make a song out of exploring his thoughts on sexuality as a child, and eventually coming to the conclusion that hate is stupid, Miley doesn’t get such a luxury. Even though all she’s doing is precisely what we’re celebrating everyone else for: being herself.”
But we don’t want to stop slamming because she’s asking for it. Just look at the way she’s dressed. (Robin Thicke deserves public mockery for the Beetlejuice suit.)