Barbara Walters told me that I was washing my face all wrong.
Imagine my surprise. I always thought this would be the one thing I consistently got right. (What the hell do I know about this skin layer that protects my skull and brain for the slings and arrows of the pointers and laughers?)
Apparently you are only supposed to cleanse lightly with a substance that does not contain soap but does have some magical combination of ingredients that only the crack team of make-up artist that keep Barbara’s face from chipping off in one mighty crunch have access to. (Of course they didn’t SAY that, but the implication was there. It was in the twitch of her eyebrow.)
Once you have lathered, (or not, depending on your skin type.) you are to rinse by splashing your face with water three times. (No more or less, or trolls will leap out and place a big warty curse on your shriveled hided. Shriveled because you used the wrong cleanser, try and stay with me.)
I see problems with this plan.
My friend Auston has gorgeous skin, creamy smooth and blemish free. He’s twenty years old, so that’s a big part of the equation. He cares for his skin by washing it with water. That’s it. Water.
I bet Barbara doesn’t know.
Speaking of faces, the media and it’s followers, (I don’t consider myself a follower, I am more of an active of observer of the zeitgeist.) are talking about Melissa McCarthy’s Elle magazine cover photo. Apparently as an ample butted woman, I am supposed to be terribly upset that Melissa is wearing a large coat on the cover.
The coat is gorgeous and cashmere and it is draped beautifully on her, not tossed over her head with holes cut in it for her to see through like a terribly expensive Halloween ghost costume. The folk who are upset start their tirades with accolades for Melissa’s make-up and hair, but then go on to gripe that the other actresses featured in the magazine are scantily clad.
My question is, why couldn’t they stop with “Melissa’s make-up and hair looked great.” Why take away the compliment by applying the complaint?
And it’s not just a photo of a coat, a palette of makeup and a beautifully styled wig. All of those things make a pretty picture because of the woman underneath.
She’s not just a face.
And neither are the rest of us. No matter what you use to cleanse/wash/hydrate/sandblast with.