I may have an attitude problem. This comes as a huge shock to no one. I have been reevaluating my overall demeanor and outlook because, Job-like, I have decided to embrace the glaring reality that I am the pawn between good and evil and just make the best of what I can with the tools available. I am not at all saying that I am happy about it, I’m just not going to let it make me bitey.(Well, any more bitey than usual)
The first thing I did in the proactive so I don’t murder anyone or possible have a stress-induced stroke or rage-based incident, is to get to slow down a little. That means I needed to get rid of one onerous task. So I cut the least lucrative: ghost writing the romance stories. I’m kind of afraid that I’m going to lose my writing stamina. At my most productive, I was writing nine hours a day.
While all that is well and good, it’s a hard pace to keep, especially since I have two other jobs that are more lucrative. (Plus I think I was suffering from extreme burnout. In the last two stories I used a flatulent dog as a deus ex machina and made a vibrator joke. There was also another dog, non-gasseous, named Reymundo who made a guest appearance. It was time to stop.)
Anyway, I have been looking around my horrifyingly filthy house to see what might inspire me to write, as always I turn to XO Jane for comfort, support and inspiration. I saw the headline
AND THEY SAY CHIVALRY IS DEAD: THAT TIME A GUY CALLED ME A “FAT BITCH” ON VALENTINE’S DAY
That made me think of Jen Lancaster’s book, Such a pretty fat which was inspired by the fact that a guy called Jen a fat bitch and she was upset because it didn’t offend her as much as it should.
A stranger calling me a fat bitch wouldn’t slow me down either and I wish I could get a book deal from my subsequent behavior.
I think they would call that a prison memoir.