Mock me to sleep

Published April 5, 2014 by Lynda Christine Rodriguez

I get so many headaches that I can now identify the type and origin. (I’m thinking of naming them, perhaps after the Osmonds.) The one I have now I’m going to call Jimmy. (Not after the youngest Osmond, but for the way that it has pried open my brain and let the bats, and not a few thoughts out.) I feel some pressure across my forehead and behind my eyes. I think it is sinus related or is linked to whatever noxious chemical the custodians for the school district use in the bathroom.

I understand that public bathrooms get icky an disgusting and they are probably especially bad in areas used by small children, but I don’t think it can be good for growing creatures to be exposed to bleach and cleaning fluid so strong it makes your eyes wrinkle. Not the area around your eyes. Your actual eyeballs wrinkle in the effort to get back into your head where the thoughts might be scary, but at least the walls aren’t wavy with bleach fumes.

All of that put me in a pretty sour mood, but not so sour that I can’t point and laugh at something.

As I may have mentioned I am loving the library job. In addition to playing with puppets and generally being a goober in literary fashion, I get to do something called “The Pull List.” The library gets a list a couple of times a day (Notice how I said, ” A couple of times” and not “A couple times”? Because it doesn’t take that much longer to do it correctly.) of books and media that have been requested by patrons at other branches of the library.  The librarian who is responsible for opening or closing the library goes on what I think is an action packed treasure hunt gathering the books and preparing them for their journey on to their next location. (I know it sounds like we give them a sandwich and map and a kiss and send them off on their way while we wave tearfully from the reference desk.  It’s very official and there are a lot of other details and steps that go into it.) I love exploring the library and interacting with the books,so I was thrilled when my Amanda friend (who is a reference librarian AND my BFF, how awesome is that?) asked if I wanted to help with the pull list. I snatched the paper from her hand and skipped away before she could change her mind. I discovered three books that roused enough interest for me to check them out.

The one I will be mocking the most is  How to Write and Publish Your Own eBook in as little as 7 Days.

This caught my attention because a) I have seen numerous web-promos about this very book and b) I have self published an eBook and will be releasing my novella as an eBook. (Before June! I promise!) The creators of this tome (Notice how I didn’t say ” author” ? That’s because the creators claim you don’t have to know how to write to publish an eBook. Too true.)  thoughtfully list reasons why people want to publish books. One of the reasons is to garner respect because “People respect people who write books.”

I want to challenge readers everywhere to pull at least five books that are written by authors they don’t respect.

I will share other mocking springboards but my head hurts and I need to have chocolate milk and Law and Order and go to bed.


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