My iPod has the power to save lives.

Published June 3, 2014 by Lynda Christine Rodriguez

As you may have noticed, I’m a little ADD and generally antsy, this makes me a delight on car trips or long flights.  My fellow travelers usually vote to have me sedated and blocked in so I will not create a panic within myself and run back and forth shouting, “Letmeoutletmeouletmeout!

Unfortunately, I can’t do this when I am transporting myself to various places, like my job or family functions. Both of these destinations also require me to act like a  normal person. It is not ever a good idea to arrive at your destination as Ed Anger would say, “Pig Biting Mad.”

This is where my iPod comes in to rescue me. My car, the 2003 Dodge Neon that has seen better days but is completely functional and has the best of all features, it is paid for. It also came with an AM/FM Cassette Stereo. It rarely works in stereo because I think I blasted out a speaker when I was trying to drown out the noise on the boring stretch of road on 150 between Albuquerque and Bloomfield.  Now that I am back to civilization  I use my iPod either with a portable speaker or with headphones to soundtrack my various adventures.

One dark day last week I left my Ipod, Elle-fire, at work.  I was then at the mercy of the radio. Rupert Holmes’ The Pina Colada Song came on the soft rock station. I am familiar with the tune and I guess I had never focused on the lyrics until I was forced to in a ridiculous amount of gridlock a mere mile away from my home.

If you do not recall, here they are:

“Escape (The Piña Colada Song)”

I was tired of my lady, we’d been together too long
Like a worn out recording of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleepin’ I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns, there was this letter I read

If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape
Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me and escape

I didn’t think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady had fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad
And though I’m nobody’s poet, I thought it wasn’t half bad

Yes, I like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
I’m not much into health food, I am into champagne
I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon and cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O’Malley’s where we’ll plan our escape

So I waited with high hopes and she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady and she said, “Aw, it’s you.”
Then we laughed for a moment and I said, “I never knew.”

That you like piña coladas and gettin’ caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean and the taste of champagne
If you like making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape
You’re the lady I’ve looked for, come with me and escape

If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape
Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me and escape

Yes I like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain
I’m not much into health food, I am into champagne
I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon and cut through all this red tape

Is anyone else screaming as loudly as I was in my car? I left the freeway because I was afraid my adulterous lyrics rage would manifest itself whilst I was operating a motor vehicle.  No where in this song does the logical thing happen, these two unfaithful flakes invest some of that disposable income to get much needed counselling. It seems that neither of them is bothered by the fact that their partner was perfectly willing to meet a stranger who enjoy tropical drinks that contain heart clogging oils.  It is possible that they would have returned from their flings with clogged arteries and a venereal disease.
I screamed all of that in the car as I meandered my way home.
If I had my iPod, I could have avoided all of this and it’s potential to make me stabby.
I do have a play list that has songs that get me cranked up because the are chockablock with faithless stupid men.  That list helps me harness my chi and take on the world.

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