I love words. I also love knowledge (In fact, I yearn for it.) That’s why I am finding it difficult to believe that I can’t seem to shove the letters and thoughts together in a cohesive strand to say what I mean.
I seem to be running from reality to the point that I forget it’s there (That would be reality, not the point. Come to think of it, I have a history of missing that, too.) Last night I found myself tearing up for what I thought was no reason. Then I remembered, oh yeah, you did just have some pretty major emotional trauma recently and its not like you can cry it out because of oh yeah that brain thing. (Why yes, I am very casual in tone when I talk to myself.)
I am having a very difficult time finding the right words. (Not in an aphasia way, more in a figurative way. I did just crack myself up imagining myself digging through the clean sock basket looking for the right words to wear with this outfit. Not that I actually care what socks I wear with what. It’s just the image of pawing through my clutter and detritus (World’s worst maid service) to find the words.
It seems that the only thing I can do productively right now is stare at the wall and mock myself.
Now, back to the wall.