Now that another brain day has come and gone and I am about one week away from official job panic, I am ready to start explaining/ prooving my theory that I may actually be in purgatory and have simply dragged all of the people I see and interact with into my very intricate levels of penance.
Part the first: I reference Vanni Fucci is alive and well and living in hell, the excellent short story by Dan Simmons
In the story, Sr Fucci tells a televangelist and his audience that since Dante Aligheri was the first person to vividly describe hell, its levels and inhabitants, Hell then shaped itself into that form and creation. Hell would thus remain that way until someone else re shaped it. Fucci has appeared to beg someone to take on this task so that he might have a chance of a slightl improved afterlife.
If you subscribe to that theory, that saying makes it so, and quite a few people bought into The Secret and the whole self actualization thing, so you know some of you do, then thinking it’s not such a stretch for my particular purgatory would involve a lot of this weird crap that keeps happening to me and around me. My Amanda Friend says that she believes in the impossible because she is friends with me. I am glad to have a friend when the universe so clearly has a particular delight in mocking me.
You might ask why would weird crap happening would be my kind of purgatory.
As I have said, I attended Catholic School from K-12, and while I would like to think it didn’t warp me too badly, we have all seen the tragic result of that. I did get an excellent education. One of my favorite teachers, and one of the very first people I remember taking a specific delight in my intellectual curiousity, Sr. Collette Ross, explained one day that Hell wasn’t necessarily a place. Hell was never knowing all of the answers. This always made sense to me because I can’t think of anything more crazy making than an eternity of unanswered questions.
For a while I kept a mental list of questions to ask the moment I reached the pearly gates. I can picture St Peter and the lads rolling their eyes as I approach and demanding that St. Paul take over because he’s so damn excited about writing letters, maybe he could sit down and listen to my insane queries.
So that accounts for the why. Now for the how
Part the second:Mind the gaps, your brain will just fill them in.
This article in Cracked The Six Awful Realities of falling in and out of a coma does a thorough job of describing what the brain is up to while the rest of you heals.
If you have never been in a coma, it’s not quite the adventure to la la land that you think it might be. The article explains that once your brain has had that kind of trauma it is very hard to delineate when you actually woke up or when you just faded in and out.
In my own personal coma (The new album by FallOut Boy!) I had many varying levels of mindfulllness.
I will take a break right now, so that you can absorb some of the information in the links. The Cracked article is very interesting and you should definitely do yourself a favor and read the Dan Simmons story