Also on the list of things that are a side effect of severe brain trauma (as opposed to the casual, lunch-time brain trauma) in addition to the not having a base line for reality and the glaring knowledge that your life span has been shortened by at least a decade because of said brain trauma is the fact that most things seem on the “This might as well happen” plane.
As I have mentioned, I have chronic insomnia. Sleeplessness compromies my kind nature, gentle spirit and cherub-like demeanor, so I have to lull my brain into complacency so it will let me get some rest. I have tried hypnosis and subliminal music tapes, with the follwing result:
Brain lobe A (In a dreary voice) : You have to get to sleep. Relax, listen to the soothing tone of the voice. You must sleep (repeats under B)
Brain lobe B (in the tone of small child): I don’t wanna,I don’t have to, I don’t have to because I don’t wanna (repeat relentlessly)
Brain lobe C (Booming ominously):How do you know the hypnotist isn’t some evil genius who is planning a world takeover by slipping suggestions into the sleep loop? You DON’T KNOW BECAUSE YOU ARE ASLEEP!
This little radio drama went on and on until I gave in and just took an Ambien. I did discuss this with my neuroligist. He said it sounded like I was in touch with My ID, Ego and Superego. But he did not indicate if this is slowly going to make me lose my mind, or if I am some highly evolved mega-head, or if I should be at all concerned.
He just renewed my prescription.
I realize I bring a bit fo my own inherent madness into the whole mix.
It’s because I was read to as a child.
(It’s a blessing and a curse.)