I think we’re running out of hands.

Published September 23, 2015 by Lynda Christine Rodriguez

Does any one remembe The Weekly World News? I had a subscription so I was always on the cutting edge of current events and was prepared to run, or crawl for my life as the giant earthworm that was hoovering up my hometown from the bottom up. (This really happened. The story, that is. I have no idea if the earthworm is still on the loose.)

One of the columns that I particularly enjoyed was penned by a writer who went by the pseudonym Ed Anger. (You can check out the archives here http://weeklyworldnews.com/opinion/ed-anger/)

One particular Bon Mot that I enjoyed via Msr. Anger is ‘Pig-Biting Mad.’

This morning I ran across two stories that didn’t quite make me Pig-Biting Mad, because, after all, it’s not the pig’s fault that people are stupid.

One the one hand we have the story about the elderly man who was punched in the face by a young man over Nutella samples (http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-costco-shopper-78-punched-in-fight-over-free-nutella-waffle-sample-20150921-story.html)  I don’t even know where to begin with this story.  Except this is exactly why we aren’t at the top of the intellgent life search list that the aliens may be creating.

One the other hand, we have the very real possibilty that we will have another goverment soon (Shutdown 2, Electric Boogalu? ) This shutdown will cause millions of people to lose access to their food stamps.(http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2015/09/23/3704692/government-shutdown-food-stamps-usda/)

Put hand one and hand two together. We live in a country where a wide range of people can afford to pay an annual fee for the chance to buy mass quantitites of food, including chocolate frosting that is masquerading as a nut butter.  In this same country, a group of congress folk can not agree on an issue in a timely fashion, so one side is going to have a tantrum and shut the whole place down, which means that some people don’t get to eat.

I need another hand to thunk myself in the head before I go on a pig biting spree.

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