This last week was challengning, different and downright nervewracking. I’m not even going to discuss what my house looks like. (I feel like a child who thinks by not looking the monster will go away. I think my filthy, disorganized house with it’s unstable foundation is much scarier than any thing that goes bump in the night.)
I had two very productive teaching days last week. I did a playwriting workshop and was amazed at how quickly the drama teaching thing kicked back in. I also subbed for a history teacher at a Catholic School. I have subbed for this school a few times before, and will be returing their for an all day kindergarten job on Thursday.
After last year, I am very familiar with the quirks and behaviors of Middle School students. I was completely unprepared with polite, respectful and responsible 7th and 8th graders.
They did get a bit rowdy at the end of the day, but I only had to use my teacher voice once as a warning. It was great and did give me a major clue as to what enviornment in which I would like to teach.
I also had two performances this weekend.
They were successful, and not just in a “Well, I did my monologue and didn’t have a stroke” kind of way. In an actual, enjoyed the performance and feel confident about performing again.
However, now that I have conquered another one of the things that I was scared of doing, I’m starting to ramp up the worry about a few other things.
Survival is a big one. Its a very first world problem, because I am in no way in immediate danger of losing the roof over my head. Nor am I beseiged by a disfiguring disease, or any other ennobling detractor to a productive life.
I’m worried about being caught in a loop that I can’t escape.
Right now I’m reading $2 a day: living on almost nothing in America.
It certainly eye opening and pretty damn scary. (I fall asleep listening to unsolved crime mysteries, so it takes a lot to rattle me.
There are thousands of people in our country who are barely getting by. Many of whom do not have a permanent address or reliable source of income.
I do have a stockpile of funds I can get to that will get me through November, but after juggling the fincances and running them through the reality computer, I have come to the grim realization that I need to be working full time by January at the very latest or I will not be able to survive.
I don’t mean that I will immediately drop dead; I couldn’t get that lucky. I mean that I will be in danger of falling into the cycle that so many of the people about whom I’ve read. A cycle where in a matter of months I could lose most of what surrounds me, including the roof that keeps me dry and shaded.
It can happen so quickly.
I do have the advantage of an excellent and paid for education. So I do have resources that many do not. It makes me feel a bit better, especially since I can use my powers for good. It costs so little to keep the wolves away from the door. (Cookies and grandma’s nightgown, right?)
I just need to get back out there and take it on.
But I need cookies first.