I am trying, really trying, to kick my motivation right in the pants. So far, I havent been very successful.
I am getting plenty of rest, but I’m still having crazy dreams. I think it’s due to minor power surges in my neighborhood. This makes my google chromecast blip in the middle of the night. This means that the constant narrative feed of American Justice, Cold Case Files and Investigation Discovery’s finest shows are interrupted. This means that my brain can romp festively with my psyche and create some truly bizarre crap.
Now I have had some strange dreams (Electric Shark anyone?) and some good dreams. I have had some that I wished would never end.
Two nights running I had a dream that involved a guy I had a crush on in High School, I have no idea why. He was so beige in personality that a friend referred to him as “The Corpse that Wouldn’t Die.” One year I asked him to our Backwards Dance. This was a tradition at our school. The Valentine’s dance was a girls as the guys kind of thing. I asked him to go to the one our Sophomore year. He said, “I don’t think so.”
Anyway, I moved on with my life and went to three Backward’s Dances. (My dates were, in this order, Jay Knowlton, Brad Cardinal, and Kevin Lambert.) The Corpse and I were in Marching Band together. (Wow what a strange sentence). Much of my interaction with the Corpse was watching him hit on and be rejected by our first chair flautist. After that humilation, he would proceed directly to the last chair clarinet.
We actually wound up at the same college, The Corpse and I. My college wasn’t that big and although we had vastly different majors, the buildings were right next to each other, so we saw each other every know and then. I would always give him a half hearted wave. The Corpse would wave back ever so slightly as if he had a nervous tic.
High school was 28 years ago, that’s why it was such a big surprise to see the Corpse turn up in not one, but two dreams.
In the first dream, he was most apologetic about being a jerk to me, and throughout the dream he morphed into an amalgam of the worst people I ever dated (No names, please) I’m not sure what that meant. (Maybe he would have been a terrible date. Safe bet.) After the first night I thought I would see if I could find him online, just out of curiousity.
I found him. He looks terrible. I shared this information with my Amanda Friend and I have to say I did giggle a little and confessed that I sent him a friend request, just so he would see how awesome I look in my profile picture.
Sometiiems I wonder if I’m a good person. Then I remember I am a bit merciless to people who rebuffed me who have, shall we say, not aged as well as others.
That’s when I think I might not be as good as I could be.
The Corpse has yet to Answer (World’s worst closed room mystery.)