The following is a piece that I have been kicking around for awhile, I’m not sure what or where I’m going to use it.
I slow down and I’m staring straight a head. I think, “The air is redolent with the smells of chicken and bread . . . .. “ and before I can finish the thought, I hear the voice say, “That’s a two dollar word.” Without turning around I say, “Well, I am meant to be very bright.” The light is still red but I don’t notice. Instead I think of the moments of my life that surround me, the very nice store where a scream of “You Cheap Bastard!” belled out through the quiet Sunday shoppers, the coffee shop filled with too many quad espressos. On my other side is the streets where I waited for the best one every, the one who made me feel like a star until I broke his heart.
Then as things change around me I think that I’m ok. Even though I went back to work too soon after losing and couldn’t do, couldn’t think, couldn’t let go, but I was ok.
The more things change the more things change. So much happens so fast and grief and loss and madness and my chest hurts and there’s a headache under my ear and my eyes are watering and the horns are honking and the light is green and it might be ok.
And I’m staring straight ahead