It’s that time of year again! Summer! Heat! Stupidity!
I have a birthday coming up. This week will be the last of my forty-sixth year. The concept makes me both hopeful and a little ooged out. One month after birthday is brain day. This year it will be thirteen years since my head blew up. So it’s either the end of my forty-sixth year or the end of the bonus thirteen (World’s worst thriller.)
Either way, this time of year always makes me introspective and thoughty.
Several events in my life have been challenging.
For those of you who have not committed the events of my life to memory, here are the highlights
1) as to yet unspecified childhood trauma
2) tagged as the smart kid with “such a pretty face”
3) performed a sock puppet production of “Slave Girl” (Now that’s a story!)
4) Thoughtless words from Gonzalo Cervantes made me think I am less than worthy, and now he’s the size of a small mountain. (That’s right! I said it! )
5) Managed to get through four years of college and still emerge emotionally immature.
And then there was grad school.
I have had a tough time of it, like when my husband of 18 years told me that he had been cheating on me since the death of my best friend two years previous and that his GF was pregnant.
Then there was the level of hell that I call my internship year teaching 160 theatre students a day.
Then there as an entire school year without a steady paycheck. I completely drained my savings and wandered back and forth between despair and relentless optimisim.
- I am now a fully certified teacher with four endorsements on my teaching certificate (I’m about to add a fifth)
- I have lost fifteen pounds since New Year’s day.
- I have gained an excellent reputation as a tutor.
- I performed in all female production of Macbeth and discovered that I can, indeed , close out the first half of a show with a monologue and NOT have a massive brain hemorrhage
- Trying online dating has helped me to embrace the fact that I am, indeed, an intellectual snob and will not answer messages that are misspelled and contain sentence fragments. (At least I haven’t corrected them and sent them back for the author to redo.)
- I acknowledge and accept that my house is a pit and that I just flat don’t care enough to make it less pitly without a damn good reason.
- I have a wonderful supportive network of friends and family including my Amanda Friend who always answers every Writer Chick crisis with, “How Can I Help?”
- My brother and I are repairing our fragmented relationship. (The fragmenting part is far too long a story to get into right now.
- I am allowing The Mom to help me. That may seem like a no-brainer, but I have been too proud to let her help too much.
- I have reconnected with a friend from my past who has swooped back into my world like a superhero to support me and remind me that I am special and deserve better than the shoddy treatment I have been given. (I’m not going to name no names, but The Mom gets the first punch at him in the smack down. ) What can I say, every girl needs a Dark Night on a fiery steed (Ok, in Buick with a very friendly cat.)
So there has been some good and some bad. This week I’m going to strive for the balance.
My kitchen is dirty because I have the funds and wherewithal to buy and prepare food. I also have a mop and Fabuloso! (It is the cleaning product of my people.)