First World Problems

All posts tagged First World Problems

Strange World

Published January 28, 2016 by Lynda Christine Rodriguez

It’s a little bizarre out here in the First World.

I was raised Catholic, complete with Catholic School K-12 and I have received all of the Sacraments except for Matrimony and Holy Orders. (Long story with lots of standing and sitting.)

This background means that I have a glitchy and permanent guilt button installed snugly in at the base of my throat, right where my Miraculous Medal can give it poke.

That being said, I get a bit twitchy when I complain about something that is a non-problem. I am fully aware that my complaints pale in comparison with, oh say, the struggle for food, shelter and clean water.

Complaint the first: My electronics are conspiring to keep me from watching the reboot of the X-Files.  I am an X-Files fan and I even have a baseball jacket that my father gave me that commemorates the X-Files Expo  and I have seen not one, not two, but three different homeless people wearing that jacket.  I had to point out that they were separate occasions so no one will think that somewhere there is a street performance of Jersey Boys. Which, come to think of it, would probably be pretty terrific.

Anyway, I have been trying to watch the first episode of the X-Files for over a week. Every time I try to watch, Hulu encounters a glitch and won’t let me reboot so that I may watch it.  Now I’m two episodes behind.

Complaint the second: Since I have been surviving by subbing and side-gigging (alliteration always available), I am a bit foggy on what is happening in the regular, work-a-day world. Every morning I watch the previous days news via The Daily Show and The Nightly Show and Good Morning America.  This can be tricky since it lends to general feeling of having been abducted by Time Weasels.

I woke up this morning fairly certain that it is Thursday. I know this because I teach my theatre class on Monday’s and Wednesday’s.  I have no idea what the date is until I look at my email. So this morning, I sat down with my banana and giant glass of water (I make myself drink 32 oz of water before I commence to guzzling coffee.)  Then I turned on my computer and pulled up Hulu so I can start listening to the recap of news while I begin my day.  The Daily Show said Thursday January 27th. It took me five minutes to determine that it was a mistake on their part and should have said Wednesday the 27th and that today is Thursday the 28th.  For several moments I didn’t know if I had completely missed a day or if I was watching news from the future.

I wonder if this is a time weasel prank or just my tenuous hold on reality. Perhaps I should just drink some coffee.

First World Problems.

Not much, how about you?

Published October 30, 2015 by Lynda Christine Rodriguez

I am having a whole barrel full of First World Problems, and we all know that the only thing good that comes in barrels is pickles and monkeys, but not together.  Imagine opening a barrel and having  a whole bunch of monkeys come springing out slinging Hamburger Dill Slices.

I got up this morning when the alarm went off. However, I did not stay up. I stayed in prime dozing position as the clock clicked down the amount of time I can wait to reasonably expect that I won’t be called into work for the morning. It was raining pretty hard, so I was grateful to have the opportunity to lie about.

When I finally decided to get out of bed, I discovered that my Kindle wasn’t where I thought it was. This is not a big deal because I clearly have a myriad of ways to amuse myself and stay connected to the internet, etc.  But once I got the idea in my head,  I became like a thing possessed. I know I didn’t take it out of the house yesterday because I had two very informative and productive meetings. ( I won’t talk about it yet; I don’t want to jinx it.)  and then I went to give blood so the people at the blood bank would stop guilt calling me.

I know the thing is in the house. It is not a necessity to my life or the survival of the human race. I have plenty of books to read, so that’s taken care of. I’m just maddened that I can’t find it.

And today, I just can’t get my brain to settle. It’s running around my head poking my in the psyche and the guilt centers.  I need to be writing more, I need to be cleaning more, and I probably could be improving myself in some other way, but all I could bring myself to do was watch videos on youtube and make notes on every weird thought that crosses my mind.

Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Did Hitler escape to Argentina? Why is this important now? Shouldn’t we have been more concerned in 1939? Or am I out of line for saying so.

My least favorite transitory phrase is “Due to the fact . . . . ” or ” Because of the fact . . . . ”   I personally think it is a lazy transition, and it was also one of the AATGH’s favorites.  That coluld be part of it.

I also sprayed myself full on in the face with glasses cleaner.  True, I wasn’t wearing my glasses at the time, so I couldn’t really judge which way the nozzle was facing, but still, it did make me feel a bit stupid. I think that’s the point where I decided I was just going to give up on anything that would require effort today.

So there.