Hecho o la realidad o la fidelidad

The following definition comes to you courtesy of the good people at Wikipedia:

Truth is most often used to mean in accord with fact or reality,^[1] or fidelity to an original or to a standard or id For other uses, see Truth (disambiguation).eal.^[1]

This leads me to ask the question, what other use could I possibly have for truth? And, why is truth more than one thing?

I have been getting tension headaches that start in the back of my neck and slowly migrates up to rest comfortably across my forehead, kind of like a full pressure helmet, that protects me from nothing. (I know, I know, didn’t I just write something about how fabulous B.C. headache powder is? Yes, but there is so much caffeine in it that if I take it after 3 PM, I will more thank likely never sleep again. )

As I worked my way through the last part of Gated Grief,  I realize what make be causing all of the tension.

Dr. Phil said on a recent show, (I love Dr. Phil, especially now that he’s getting sassy.) “There is no reality, just your perception of reality.  I have to say, it did take me most of the day to process.  It is true that writers and actors and directors take their perception of the script, which provides the facts and given circumstances to create the reality.

This gets confusing when one is trying to build a reality out of the facts of history, as Leila Levinson does in Gated Grief and as Helen Epstein does in  Where She Came From, the book I’m about to begin. They both are taking what facts they have to reconstruct a reality so that they can know the truth, and in turn, know their parents.  They want to to have an immediate understanding of who there parents were.

I will read more than one book at a time (not simultaneously, wise guys.)  My mind can’t unwind without reading something.  Now that I am constantly processing thought, most of my “dessert reading” is rereading some of my past favorites.

It occurred to me that I do this because I have a hard time finding a story that compels me. The characters don’t have to be particularly likeable, I’m not a big fan of Christian Grey, but he was by far the best character in that whole disgrace to erotica.

I am constantly in search of the truth and a good story, maybe they will be the same thing. Until then, I will be here under the tension helmet. (Worst Album title ever)

Maybe it’s my face to the truth

Way, way back in 1989, I was a finalist in the “Face of the  Future” modeling contest.  When I arrived at the actual finals, I noticed that I was six years older and a good six inches shorter than most of the other contestants. (To be fair, I was wearing flats; everyone else wore heels. To paraphrase Agador-Spartacus, “I do not wear heels because they make me fall down.” )  Even though I was clearly not what they were  looking for, my brother called me “the Face” for an entire year.  (This is much better than Space Alien Baby, which is what he called me for most of 1988. I have no idea why.

One aspect of the truth that is becoming emergent from all of my research, is that truth depends on perception.

That boggles me.

Why isn’t truth absolute?

Because it can’t  be proven without a doubt, because it involves people.

For example, in Sharon Dogard’s excellent book” Annexed, she retells the story of Anne Frank’s attic exile from Peter’s perspective.

Ellen Feldman also explores Peter’s perspective in her book The Boy who loved Anne Frank.  Both of these books build on a character that most people think  they know. I have written about this before, but it seems resonant in light of the train of thought I am trying to catch.  (Maybe the train is going to run over me; who knows? )

What if the only truth anyone knew of you was from someone else who only knew one part of you?

It’s done all the time, especially in this world of online dating and the like.  We perceive the truth entirely from one perspective.  What face is the truth? Is it our own?

I am reading another book as I finish up Gated Grief.  This book is also an investigative memoir. I find these interesting because when one does not leave behind one’s own  story, their personal truth is the only face that survives.

Because although I was at what I think is my most attractive in 1989, I know that I am so much better than the 20 year old me with Big Dallas Hair. I now know that  what is in my head is much more important that what is on my head.  My face is much braver than it was then.

The face of the truth:enfrentarán la verdad

For some reason the weird crap that keeps happening to me is starting to crack me up (I mean that both ways; it makes me laugh and I think it may slowly be driving me insane.)

I went to see my psychologist and as I was walking down the hall to her office, I passed what I am sure is a wonderful non-profit “Depression Connection.” I had the terribly inappropriate urge to laugh hysterically as I passed in front of their glass doors.  (I did not, I do have a shard of control left.)

I am slowly working my way through “Gated Grief.” I’m sure it was as difficult to write as it is to read.  It’s a very good book; it’s the content that is slowing my progress. The book is about the author, Leila Levinson, quest to get to know her recently deceased father, who was one of the American Liberators of one of the Concentration Camps. Her quest includes interviewing veterans who also liberated the camps. A few of the things that struck me, is the description of the “psychic closing off” as a coping mechanism for seeing an unimaginable hell.  What I read today has me pondering the question, if you truly knew what the truth looks like, would you be able to face it?

As I have been taught/told/teach, writers don’t write in a vacuum; at some level their writing is indicative of the time in which they are living.    As I attempt to find the actual face of the truth, I wonder if I am actually capable of staring into it without possibly turning into a pillar of salt.

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

 

 

The Truth is . . .

it’s still in process. I know that’s not much of a title. As a child when I had to write creatively (How much fun that is, to be child and be forced at beady-eyed nun-point, to be creative.  Remember, you can quote me and use “nun-point” but you have to refer someone to my web  page, http://www.ellesview.com, and perhaps strongly encourage them to take a look at some of my work.) I was always terrible at finding a title.

I am finding as I continue my quest for the truth is that I really like a good story (what a shock, Writer Chick likes a story,le gasp, as my friend Cal would say.) and I tend to get snarly when I am lead down a seemingly interesting path only to find myself no better off than I was when I opened the book or started the movie or whatever.

As I prepared myself for today’s adventure, I realized the truth is often shaped by the attitude in which it is presented and received. I wasn’t in the best mood because I all of a sudden started to panic and freak out a little over impending expenses and related dips in my income. Then I got very vexed and stompy because I don’t like being yanked out of my constant complacency by someone else’s jackassery.  Is anyone ever truly ready for the truth to leap out at them?

What I learned from applying the truth to a classroom exercise, as per yesterday’s entry, is that staying in character to justify the truth in your scene helps sell the overall story. This seems to be true in the “real “world (I think  Trey Parker and Matt Stone are right, Earth is just a giant reality series on the verge of being cancelled.)

So how can the casual observer or committed season ticket holder be sure that they are being presented the truth and not some sort of Pseudohistory?

And will we (or me) get to decide before some turkey decides for us?

This is a good place to begin the next book

“Gated Grief”

The truth is funnier than it appears, es verdad?

What is it that they say about a little knowledge?  Nothing, actually, they, or Alexander Pope say, A little learning is a dangerous thing. (“Pope say” made me laugh out loud.  Say it, “Pope-say” Hilarious.) If a little learning is a dangerous thing, I must be approaching deadly weapon status. (One can only hope.)

I asked myself why I was I wading through books to find evidence for truth. I wanted to say, “Why not,” but I can only imagine the consequences of slapping myself for being a wise ass.   I am hoping a review of literature in light of my own world from my own perspective will help me make sense of things as a whole.  There is a lot of psyche denting stuff happening in the world right now, even for people whose husbands haven’t knocked anyone up. (I think I’m entitled to drop that in it’s not like it’s a state secret, and if it makes YOU cringe, imagine how it looks on this, the fuzzy end of the lollipop.)

I am feeling a little bonkers today. Evidence to support this, I selected “Drive” on the Google home page because I was looking for directions. Seriously. I am a bright, educated person and it still took me a few moments to figure out what I was doing.

I am continuing on with the definition of what may or may not be history. My Amanda friend shared a link with me about how to fake a Moon Landing. I know from experience  that if you want to make an engineer flurb, you should say with utter conviction that you think the Moon Landing was faked. (I have to be honest, the main reason that I believe it  wasn’t is because a director recently proved that it would have been impossible to film  a fake moon landing with the available film technology.)

This seems to be the perfect place to leap (with one small step for a man?) to the next statement in the book Denying History.  “History exists outside of the minds of the historians.”  That makes sense. History is that which can be proven through fact, eyewitness account with statistical support.

The problem with that as a basis to truth is that some, not me, would consider that a formula. (Not me, because if you say formula, I think “NO NO NO! That’s Math!”  and I scream and run away.)

And the problem with that, especially when dealing with people is that there are variables (eek, math!) that will make the formula invalid.

I need to step it up on getting through this book, it’s already got so many tape flags on it, it has more fringe than the Sonny and Cher show.

For those of you who wanted to read ahead and you are by no means obligated to, the next book is “Gated Grief.”